As a Young Woman of 17 I can't tell you how hard it is sometimes to not use/fall to society norms. That super cool short skirt, or those darling cropped shorts or the tank top that EVERYONE seems to be wearing.
Every single time I have been asked about my modesty I've been asked why I would ever wear something like what I was wearing. And I always say that I prayed about how short of a skirt felt right, or if I would wear that dress with the low neckline. I've been told by my friends that they prayed about their choices in modesty as well. I have some friends who wear what I consider short skirts to church or dances. But just because I consider their skirt short doesn't mean they do. They prayed about their decision just like I prayed about mine, and their definition of short is different than mine. In my experience everyone has their own choice to make about the matter with God's help through prayer. Or, if you don't pray that's okay. Whatever you are comfortable with is your decision.
For prom last year I found this beautiful dress that I really really wanted to buy. The neckline was maybe a little short, but the sleeves were non-existent. We looked everywhere for something that looked good under or over it, but nothing worked. So, we bought fabric that matched the dress and I spent hours cutting sleeves and putting cloth in the neckline so that it would fit my standards. On the night of the prom, though, and on the other occasions when I have worn that dress, I've been complimented so many times on the dress. When I told people there were no sleeves on the dress when I bought it they were shocked. I hear comments such as "I would never have known if you hadn't said something", "I see no difference at all are you sure you made those and put them on?", "No way!", and "wow I can't believe you made those, the dress is gourgeous!" every single time I wear the dress.
My mom has always told me to pray about my modesty and so I have. Our parents ideas do sometimes influence our own though, just like some of her modesty ideas have. For skirts I have always been taught to kneel on the floor and, if the skirt doesn't touch the floor, it isn't long enough. I have very few skirts that are above the knee (maybe one or two), and absolutely none of my dresses are. I have no sleeveless dresses, or if I do I wear something over them or underneath if it looks better. I don't wear tank-tops unless I have something underneath or over them, because it feels weird to me. I don't roll up the sleeves of my shirts for the same reason. The necklines of my shirts and dresses aren't showing. My moms rule for shirts is that if you lift your arms and you can see your stomach the shirt is too short. I don't wear shorts unless they go to the knee or as a cover-up for a swimsuit. I have a one piece swimsuit and a tankini that covers my back and doesn't show my stomach.
These are my ideas of modesty. I'm not saying these should be everyone's ideas, they are just mine. You might agree with me on some points, but then again, you might not. But that's okay because everyone is different. I'm not forcing my standards onto you. (If you feel that I am, sorry!)
The idea for this post came from reading and commenting on this blog post: Modest is Hottest
- Cali
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